unexpected blessings

this was not the post i was originally going to write today.  i woke up this morning with a menagerie of thoughts running through my head:  comparison.  forgiveness of self and others.  fighting self-doubt and the "i'm-not-good-enough"s.  letting go.

image via & original source

then, i read this blog post, received a phone call from a friend, and it changed the trajectory of my thoughts.

i am surrounded by blessings.

a hot cup of coffee.  having a friend who confides in me.  the sliver of sunshine that fights to peek through heavy cloud cover.  a loving, supportive husband.  fluffy pink socks.  kisses from my dog.  sunflowers on the kitchen table.  a dad who makes me laugh and a mom who when she says, "its all going to be ok," i suddenly believe it.  the sound our wedding day wind chime outside.  blessings.

the difficult things?  they're blessings too.

making the choice to take a good hard look at myself, my thoughts, my feelings and deciding what stays and what goes, even when it is painful?  blessing.

my current physical and mental trials and tribulations?  for the first time in a long time, i know in my heart, that they will be a blessing.  (the fact that i can even view them in this light is true progress and in and of itself is a blessing.)

image via

we are all surrounded by blessings, if we just take a moment to open our eyes and hearts to them.

xoxox -

favorite

fa·vor·ite:  [fey-ver-it, feyv-rit]

~NOUN:  A PERSON OR THING REGARDED WITH SPECIAL FAVOR OR PREFERENCE~


it has been a hot minute since i've blogged.  i have had a health snafu going on (as it seems most folks have these days), but i am on the mend and feeling lots better!

just in time for another round of friday favorites!

*  my word of the year necklace - my next door neighbor and good friend, tracey, shared the link to this lovely necklace earlier in january.  she thought it would be perfect for me and it is!  my necklace just arrived a week or so ago and i l-o-v-e it!  not only is it dainty and lovely, it is such a good reminder of my word of the year.  i decided to go with the sanskrit word for contentment, santosha, to make it a bit more personalized for me.  while i chose the silver, it also comes in gold. 

loves, loves, loves it!

*  my electric blanket - unless it is in excess of 80 degrees, i am going to be cold.  over thanksgiving, my mom broke out these comfy, cozy electric blankets.  i was in heaven!  then, she told me that we could take them home!  they were supposed to be part of our christmas gifts, but she decided we could have them on the early side.  i question how i ever survived any winter without it.  i was so in love that i actually gave one to my mother-in-law for christmas and who has called me 3 times to talk about how wonderful it is.  i am curled up under right now, while it is 25 degrees and sleeting outside.  speaking of another favorite....

*  snow days  - unfortunately, i no longer get snow days because i, fortunately, am a mobile worker and work from home 99.9% of the time.  i still love a good snow day though.  i love watching those big, fluffy flakes (which are supposedly headed this way around 4 p.m. EST) float through the sky, creating a big white blanket.  i love how quiet and peaceful it gets, at least for a little while.  i love the frequent knock at the door as one of the neighborhood kids ask if they can use our driveway and hill for sledding. (yes, sweetie.  always yes.  just be careful.)  i love that it gives me an excuse to drink one more cup of coffee, a silly amount of hot chocolate, followed by an even sillier amount of hot cider for the sake of keeping warm.  i love putting a pot of homemade soup on the burner, all warm and bubbly, that is sure to take the chill off from snowman building.  i love the fire my husband gets going in the fire pit outside.  i love how bogue tries to figure out "what in the heck is this white stuff."  i love cuddling and getting cozy.  now if this freezing rain and ice we are currently experiencing would turn to snow, well, that would be swell.  (sigh, winter in nc.  lots of ice.  not-so-much snow.)

*  homemade spa water - for probably going on 3 years now, i do not drink soda except on a rare occasion.  we are talking maybe once a year, if even that.  so, i drink a lot of water.  water on its own is okay, but it can get, well, rather boring after a while.  one day i was at the spa with my bestie, melissa, and we were commenting on how yummy and refreshing the water was.  i remember looking at her and asking, "why don't we ever think to do this at home?  it isn't hard.  all they are doing is floating some cucumbers in a pitcher of water."  now, i do this on the regular.  i've branched out as well.  at any given time, you'll find cucumbers, lemons, clementines, oranges, strawberries, blackberries, or raspberries floating in my water.  it is delicious and so refreshing!  i'm rocking the cucumbers today:

just say no to processed "fruit-flavored" water and make your own.  it tastes better and is better for you.  promise.

* gone girl by gillian flynn - i finished this book awhile ago, but i have been slowly convincing my friends to read it.  it is so much fun hearing their reactions!  even though, like many of my friends, some parts of this novel just down right ticked me off (but what good piece of literature doesn't inspire intense emotion), i loved every.single.second of it.  so many mystery/crime novels follow a certain formula these days that by about half-way through i've already got it mostly figured out.  this one?  absolutely not.  do me a favor.  if you like mystery/crime novels, please, please read gone girl.  trust me.  you'll be shaking your head at the end wondering what-in-the-hell just happened.  perfect read on a snow day!

happy friday, friends!  stay warm and have a lovely weekend!

xoxox -

contentment (santosha)

con·tent·ment:  [kuh n-tent-muh nt]

~ NOUN:  THE STATE OF BEING CONTENTED; SATISFACTION; EASE OF MIND ~

happy new year, friends.

last night, we started a new tradition in our home of the "burning bowl."  basically, you write down a word(s) or a phrase(s) that you'd like to leave behind as you move into the new year.  then, you set it on fire and place it a bowl.  oh, i had several little slips of paper in our burning bowl last night and it was glorious, lovely, and liberating.

....out with the old.....

today, i have turned my focus to my word of intention.

since 2011, i have forgone the traditional new year's resolutions and have chosen a word of intention instead.  if you are new to the blog, check out this post from last january that gives you the scoop and my perspective on why it works better for me, personally.

now, if you l-o-v-e your resolutions, i say go for it and i'll be here cheering you on from the sidelines!

i have had three words rumbling through my mind over the past few days.  i pondered them over and over again and really was having a difficult decision.

when i woke up this morning, it hit me.

i knew what my word for 2013 was going to be.

i've said it before and i'll say it again, it really does choose you at the end of the day.

contentment (santosha, for the yogis/yoginis out there) is my word of intention for 2013.

oh yeah.  it is a doozy and it is certainly setting myself up for a good, healthy dose of self-reflection, with a mighty long journey to go along with it.

(really, though, what life experience isn't just that?)

you see, i am from a long line of planners.

i do x, y, z and i expect the outcome to be a, b, c.

i will analyze (and over-analyze) all the potential outcomes if i do x, y, z or if i conversely do m,n,o what will happen.  next thing you know, i've worked myself into a complete tizzy.

and if a, b, c doesn't come into fruition?

let's not go there.  it can be quite ugly.

of course, this can be to one's advantage in  the workplace, but in the personal space, it can drive you, well, crazy.

what i find deliciously ironic about all of this is that i have learned over and over (and over) that this equation that i've used time and time again, simply doesn't work so well in my personal life.

when i was 22 years old, i had my whole life timeline planned out:  job (22), job progression (24), marriage (26), children (first one by 30).

let me tell you how my whole "master" plan worked out.

it didn't.

i tried to make it work...desperately clawing and pushing to fit square pegs in round holes.

still didn't work.

i cursed and screamed and yelled.

life was not budging, at least in the direction i was willing it to.

at some point, probably around 30 or so, when i wasn't married, had no children, but the job thing was okay, but not exactly what i wanted, i decided i had to let that whole timeline thing go.

and you know, what?  that whole timeline being a complete and total bust?

biggest.blessing.EVER.

well, through a series of twists and turns, i find my inner control freak creeping back out with a vengence.  trying to control things that simply aren't controllable.

obsessing over the future.  condemning of past decisions.

the concept of "let go and let God" has gone completely out the window.

girlfriend has got to get back in check.

i'm missing the present.

i have so much.  SO MUCH.

so many blessings.  so much love.  so much joy.

i want, nary i say, need to be content in the present.....

to have my own sense of inner peace and happiness.

this quote really spoke to me:

"No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it.  The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.” ~Barbara Brown Taylor

so, i'm looking forward to this journey and working towards being content with the big red x that i'm standing on today and the different one i will be standing on tomorrow.

each day of this life truly is a treasure, if we just take a moment to recognize what we already have, instead of what we are lacking.

xoxox,

p.s. - like last year, i also created a pinterest board for inspiration of this year's word of intention.  you can find it here.